When it comes to relationships, dating is often the first step toward finding a partner.
The first date is an opportunity to make a good impression and set the tone for future interactions. As the saying goes, “Don’t judge a book by its cover,” but it’s natural to form some initial impressions of a person based on their appearance, mannerisms, and conversation.
While it’s important not to rely solely on these first impressions, they can provide valuable insights into a person’s character and compatibility. It’s not necessarily about the first 9 seconds but rather the overall first interaction that can give you a sense of whether or not you want to pursue a relationship or date further with this person.
During the first date, you can observe how the person carries themselves and how they interact with you. By listening to their selected stories and understanding how they communicate, you can gain a deeper understanding of who they are as a person. You can get a feel of the world they live in or the world they have created for themselves. Taking a walk or engaging in an activity together can also provide a different perspective on the person and help you get to know them better in how they respond to the world around them.
Ultimately, the first date is a chance to assess whether or not you want to continue pursuing a relationship with the person. It’s important to reflect on your initial impressions and consider what drew you to the person in the first place.
Were there certain qualities or traits that stood out to you? Were there any red flags that you noticed? By taking the time to reflect on the experience, you can make a more informed decision about whether or not to move forward. Most times, you don’t need a second date to know whether you should move forward or not.
But it really comes down again; as mentioned previously in my posts, one must know thyself in order to understand what you are looking for in a partner.
And it may take much patience, but it is worth waiting and being patient than jumping into a relationship that will only cause you headaches and sink you into a foggy climate.
POUNDER THE WATERS.
Upon returning from your first date, it’s a good idea to take some time to reflect on the experience. To help with this, consider keeping a journal specifically for your dating or relationship life. In this journal, you can jot down anything that comes to mind about your first interaction with your date.
Take note of what you liked about them, what drew you to them before meeting them, and what drew you to them now that you’ve met them in person.
Additionally, it can be helpful to write down anything that you found dislikable about your interaction, whether it was something they said or something they did non-verbally. By keeping track of your thoughts and feelings in this way, you can gain valuable insights into your own preferences and tendencies when it comes to dating and relationships.
RE-EVALUATE THE TEMPERATURE OF THE WATERS.
Taking a moment to reflect on your initial interactions with individuals on dating apps can provide you with valuable insights that can help you make better choices in your search for your Ms./Mr. ‘good match’ partner (not a roommate :D).
Ask yourself if you can see yourself with the person before matching with them, based on what they have included in their profile. The pictures they’ve chosen to share and the comments or quotes they’ve included can give you a glimpse into their values, world, and interests. While it’s important to immerse yourself in the experience of online dating, it’s also essential to step outside of that and question their motives in selecting certain aspects of their profile.
Often, these choices are unconscious, but they can still say something about the person. For example, if someone states that they are “unsure” about the type of relationship they are looking for, it’s best not to match if you are seeking a serious relationship. Similarly, if their profile seems to lack any focus on what they want in a partner, it’s worth moving on.
By taking the time to evaluate your potential matches in this way, you can save yourself time and energy that would have been spent on meeting up with someone who ultimately isn’t a good match or within the same chapter. While every dating experience can be a learning opportunity, it’s best to avoid those that lead to the same conclusion that the person isn’t the right fit.
FINAL WORDS.
Meeting new people can be an exciting experience. Taking us to our college days when we had the opportunity to interact with many individuals in various classes, conferences, organizations (on-campus and off-campus), and study abroad programs. Unlike in the workforce, where we often just meet people within our jobs.
Stay focused on your goals (true to your values), and do not let the experiences or opinions of others mislead you consciously or unconsciously on who should be a good match.
As Steve Jobs once said,
“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”
In the end, it’s important to enjoy the experience of meeting new people, but not at the cost of wasting your time with individuals who aren’t a good fit to create a lasting connection. Life is about cherishing both the good and bad experiences and learning from them, as they shape who we are and who we want to become.
So, “Stay hungry, stay foolish.” – Steve Jobs.
